ASCII by Jason Scott

Jason Scott's Weblog

Things My Users Have Taught Me —

By users, of course, I mean the many fine millions who have browsed TEXTFILES.COM and its sites over the years.

  • It can be really frustrating that the textfiles.com bandwidth seems so slow, so you better open 30-60 simultaneous connections via your Internet2-ready connection in Europe and get all the files at once before it slows down more.

  • Textfiles.com is awesome. What it really needs, however, is javascript, ads, and everything else that makes a reasonable person abandon web-browsing as a soothing activity.
  • If you’re going to write an erotic fantasy story about two of your classmates fourteen years ago, be sure not to include their real names at the bottom along with what town and high school the fantasy is taking place, because there’s nothing less awesome for you than a couple of 30 year old guys discovering said erotic fantasy is far and away the top google hit for their names.
  • If you want to offer to be a mirror for textfiles.com, be sure to do so using a machine you don’t own on a pipe you don’t own using an account you don’t pay for.
  • If you want to utterly, totally piss off a ministry, file the transcribed pamphlets they made 15 years ago under “Occult”.
  • Textfiles.com has a file written in an afternoon by a 13 year old boy who uploaded it to one BBS in 1982 a month before the BBS went down forever, which the boy, now a 35 year old programmer, found online and sat there stunned.
  • The same lesson about writing erotic fiction about your classmates goes the same for writing about a teaching assistant sleeping with your students, under your real name, and then going on to be a professor.
  • If you can’t remember the title, writer, full subject, any salient phrases, or context of a file, Jason Scott will still somehow find it for you, you just know it.
  • Saying mean things is mean.
  • It is now possible for a person to have been allowed on the computer and internet for the first time, found textifles.com, and get inspired by stuff you read and end up going to college in the subject that interested you.

Keep the lessons coming!


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5 Comments

  1. Shii says:

    Okay… what’s the 1982 file?

  2. Church says:

    Links or it never happened. ;)

  3. Flack says:

    Jason will not temporarily delete files for you to hide your plagarism.

    /add

  4. Imnotabot says:

    Hey Jason,

    You state that you are a programmer in:

    “Textfiles.com has a file written in an afternoon by a 13 year old boy who uploaded it to one BBS in 1982 a month before the BBS went down forever, which the boy, now a 35 year old programmer, found online and sat there stunned.”

    What programming languages do you know fairly well?

  5. Jason Scott says:

    My duties in my career have mostly been on the administrating side, so I mostly work in bourne shell and perl these days. No need for C or other work, although I will modify open-source projects to suit my needs.