ASCII by Jason Scott

Jason Scott's Weblog

Note to 247 Realmedia —

  • Don’t ever call again. But if you do:
  • If you’re going to leave a message on my phone about how you can help with marketing, be sure to clarify to me whether:
    • you’re asking me to whore out my users to whatever money-waving Johns you intend to send my way
    • you’re seeking to sidle up to me like a swampland-in-Florida salesman and make me buy your services to increase traffic to a site that features ascii art nudes.
  • Typing “ advertising” into Google reveals a weblog entry called “Why Is There No Advertising on”. Since the whole point of that essay is that I don’t want any advertising on, you were functioning at an informational disadvantage.
  • Since reading is hard and you can’t be expected to do actual research on a site you’re hitting up, next time just ask yourself why a site that has been around for eight years has no advertising. Chances are, it’s not because they are totally unaware there’s a thing like advertising on the Internet.
  • Avoid keeping the speakerphone on when my voicemail message starts, so it doesn’t sound like you needed both hands to whack off while leaving your scripted message.
  • Consider that the sudden burst in the Alexa rating of is because my site provided a photo of a prodigiously stretched rectum to over 100,000 people, and decide if this means I’m the type of “content partner” that’s going to possibly keep any links from your clients ass-free.

  • Die.

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  1. DJetson says:

    That’s hilarious, I LOL’d, I ROFL’d, then I accidentally S’ed in my P’s a little bit.

    My brother does SEO stuff like what it sounds like this company is trying to do, and I always give him a hard time about how he ruins the internet, and how advertising on sites like yours calls the contents credibility into question because people are just constantly wondering if you are trying to sell something or provide information. A policy of non advertisement makes that particular issue crystal clear.

  2. seo pune says:

    i absolutely agree with you Djetson. When ever i come across websites with too many advertisments i just switch off and move to something that looks more credible.

    But in a way its good for publishers who are sharing their content free of cost. Everything has two sides to a coin 🙂