ASCII by Jason Scott

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Non-Alcoholic —

Sometime ago, I mentioned a steakhouse (called Alexander’s) that I ate a very expensive steak at. (The cost was $250, in case anyone goes back and reads it and wonders what the number was).

At this steakhouse, while we were waiting for our table, the kindly person whose job was to keep waiting customers happy asked if we wanted something to drink. Well, I don’t drink. I don’t have alcohol and never have. So I asked what might be available in a non-alcoholic fashion.

People usually offer juice, or chocolate. This guy asked me if I wanted some Pinot Noir grape juice.

Pinot Noir… grape juice?

Well, naturally I’d want to try that!

It turned out to be a beautiful exquisite taste, so unlike grape juice you might find in a store, with all those excellent things that people who drink wine probably mean when they talk about finish and full-bodied and all that stuff. It was just great.

I raved about it for days afterwards, then I’d mention it occasionally and then not again.

I went back to that restaurant recently, and had another glass. Actually, I’m lying. We ordered two bottles of it, and that’s when we found out the name of the place: Navarro Vineyards. They even ship, which is why I’m ordering a bunch of bottles for myself.

I get all that goofyness of wine-ordering, with the cork and the chilling and the special pouring, except there’s no actual alcohol involved. Works for me.

I could now launch into a whole considering of my non-drinking ways, but it will seem pedantic to someone who doesn’t drink and will seem weird to someone who does. Needless to say, if you don’t drink, your wine selection is severely limited and so this grape juice will do nicely.

P.S. Do not offer me a chance to learn how wonderful it is to drink alcohol.


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7 Comments

  1. Andy Baio says:

    It just dawned on me that I failed to get you a simple Roy Rogers at the party all night, despite repeated attempts to get to the bar. Come to think of it, that’s a good reason not to drink: you turn into a forgetful ass. (P.S. Thanks so much for coming; I had a blast introducing you to all my friends.)

  2. How did they made the Wine without fermenting it? Weird. Anyhow Pinot Noir is dry red wine.. nothing for me. I prefer desert wines, if I have to drink wine to begin with. I grew up drinking beer and was actually drinking a lot of it. I cut it back radically about 1 1/2 years ago. Now I am drinking every couple month 2-3 beer and that’s it. I won’t mention how much I was drinking before that hehe.

    Anyhow, you mentioned that you don’t drink alcohol at all on several occasions, which is not sooo special to make a interesting conversation out of it (well, it depends actually hehe), but the second part of the statement always makes this “why” question pop-up in my head, every time you say ” … and never have”.

    So do me a favor and make this question go away by telling why you never have been drinking any alcohol in your life. If you drink or not, is completely up to you and there is no need for justification unless you want to.

    Thanks and cheers! (drinking Sprite right now, but switching back to water afterwards hehe).

  3. Gatton says:

    Carsten, I assume it wasn’t wine but juice made from the pinot noir varietal of grape. I think Jason is saying he gets to enjoy the “trappings” of wine drinking but without the alcohol. This sounds pretty cool and I should check it out.

    I’ll go back to my ice water now. Although I am drinking it from a Bud Light Spuds Mackenzie: The Original Party Animal beer mug 🙂

  4. Al Curtice says:

    I also do not drink alcohol. Navarro makes an excellent juice and that inspired me to produce and bottle grape juice from my own vineyard. You now can purchase Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, Riesling and Cabernet Sauvignon at http://www.drapervalleyvineyard.com Wine grapes make such a wonderful juice. Stop by and check us out.

  5. Nice find! I’m not a pure abstainer, but I prefer to not look like the dork in the room holding a soft drink.

    It’s also nice to have the option of drink something “grown up” tasting without the obligatory impairment afterward.

    For me it’s not so much the alcohol or the potential for bad behavior, but the sense that my wits are dulled by alcohol.

    These things are good to discover!

  6. Yeah and Jason is avoiding my question to let me die with an unanswered question that will haunt me forever hehe.

    No seriously Jason. You can shoot me an email if you prefer not to answer my question in public. Thanks.

  7. Jay says:

    I got so tired of the “good varietal grapes” like pinot noir, cabernet sauvignon, merlot, zinfandel, and others only going into alcoholic products that I went on a rampage looking for these grapes in juice format. What I discovered was the basis for my web store, SweetwaterCellars.com. Now we can all enjoy The Good Stuff!