ASCII by Jason Scott

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My Delicious Grape Juice —

I mentioned in a previous entry (which itself cites a previous entry) that I had ordered some Pinot Noir Grape juice, unfermented grapes in a bottle. Well, it arrived, finally.

I am happy to see the elaborate way that people pack wine bottles. Because I live in Massachusetts, I would normally encounter some issues shipping wine here, but because this is just some grapes in a bottle, I’m in the clear. What you get for your trouble when you order a half-case as I did is a huge styrofoam contraption, each bottle being suspended in the stuff (there’s some air there) and all of them having an inch of space between it and anything else. It has been a while since I’ve seen styrofoam used as an actual packing material, but I guess it can’t really come any other way yet.

The bottles are in every way like wine bottles. They have the shape and the label and a cork and the foil. I placed them near my collection of gifted alcohol bottles I keep around for guests and they fit right in.

Reading the label, I see that Navarro Vineyards chills the grape juice down to 29 degrees (to stop fermentation) and then “cold-filters” out the yeast, for the same reason. This results in pure grape juice, with that really striking aroma that can come from a really haughty variety of grape. And you can’t get more haughty than Pinot Noir!

Obviously, a tour is in my future.

This set into motion a whole bunch of stuff that was brand new to me. Naturally I had to try it out in a real wine glass, and I had to wash a few to get rid of the dust. And then I realized I had no easy to find corkscrew! This took quite some time, going through drawers and cupboards, until I finally found one and did all the elaborate opening these things required.

I know you’re supposed to turn the bottle while you pour out the wine, but I’m still too uncouth for that. I did, however, use a “seals the bottle” device I got some years ago to protect the grape juice while I chilled it.

I’ve already nailed a couple bottles down, and let me say how weird it is to be working on my computer and doing the usualy projects while sitting next to me is a wine glass filled with the juice of grapes and look at me, I’m an adult. It’s kind of neat, as long as nobody drinks my purple stuff and finds out my horrible secret.

I also discovered that I can make myself sick on it if I drink too much. I’ve totally become a low-rent version of Bacchus.

Anyway, thumbs up over here. Burp.

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