ASCII by Jason Scott

Jason Scott's Weblog

The Big Push —

Things are actually kind of nice in my life. Interesting projects, good day job, good friends, tens of thousands of new goatse-loving fans, and a general happy demeanor. Only one problem: weight.

Ah yes, that last frontier, that one bit that no amount of studying, debating, excusing or justifying will get away from: personal health. That’s my next thing to overcome, and then I think I’ll be one pretty joyful motherfucker.

Happily, it’s not been a downward trend the last 4 years or so:

But going from roughly 230-something to 210-something is merely a case of dropping endless snacks and junk food into my head. Cutting out something and then not adding other activity is just a recipe for disaster, waiting gingerly for something else to go wrong and then you’re back to square one.

I finally joined a gym this past Tuesday, and I’ve had workout sessions on Thursday and Saturday, with professional assistance in doing so. I’m using an interesting methodology to ensure continued attendance: I joined a stupidly expensive club. Like, where you expect Geishas to be holding your free iPod for you breathlessly until you return that day. This is the heretofore-unknown Capitalist Health Program: Spend a Lot of Money and feel like you’re totally blowing cash if you don’t go. I’m signed up for a year and I even read the contract. What a great piece of work! When your year is up, if you don’t send a registered letter saying you’re done with them (or sign up for another year), they start charging you even more. The best part is I knew this and signed it anyway, which gives me even more incentive to pay attention. (Other bonus: If you move away and there’s another club in the chain within 25 miles, you can’t drop the membership claiming you’re not nearby).

I’ll never forget this kid: he was on IRC, a little trash-talking knobjob who worked out obsessively, had a lot of photos of himself up flexing his muscles, and generally added to the general quality of online life. Picked a lot of fights as a matter of course, and one of my favorite memories was his challenging everyone in the IRC channel to a fistfight at the next Defcon.

All well and good, and the dustbin of history will welcome that little punk happily, except for one little exchange where I said it was my hope to improve my physical fitness.

“You will fail!” said Mister Fistfight. “You’re just like all the rest of these people – no discipline, no nerve. You say you’ll stick the course and you have no discipline and you go back to your chair.”

Well, time to see who’s right. Now, if you don’t mind, I have an appointment with some Geishas.

Categorised as: Uncategorized

Comments are disabled on this post


  1. Greg says:

    Hey, I was one of your ‘Goatse-converted’. Just thought I’d say good luck. I did the exact same thing a few of months ago (ridiculously expensive, year long contract) however I did notice myself lose interest after a little while. What I suggest from limited experience is don’t go everyday or even close to that at first as you’ll hate it, start on 2-3 times a week until you enjoy it then you’ll want to go back.
    I’m now going reguarly again and it’s a lot more enjoyable. Have fun and good luck!

  2. Michael Kohne says:

    I’m on the wrong side of the scale as well, and one thing I can say is to make sure you mix up your routines. Some folks like to do different things every day, other folks do one thing for a few weeks, then switch. Whatever works for you, just don’t let it get stagnant. I personally was doing well with switching the pieces of equipment I used every few weeks (eliptical, bike, whatever). Sadly, change of job interrupted my gym plans, and now I just do DDR in the mornings.

    Good luck!

  3. Flack says:

    As you may or may not know, last year (seven months, actually) I lost about 60 lbs. The weight loss started because of a bet at work and continued from there. I could give you a million pieces of advice just as others have given me, but really the best advice I can give you is research and try everything that sounds interesting/plausable and stick with what works. The best deal about my weight loss is that it didn’t cost me a dime (I walked daily while listening to MP3s), and actually by cutting back on snacks and food, I probably saved money. I’ll e-mail you more details.

  4. Rick Almeida says:

    I found hiring a trainer for 2 months to be a very good thing. The first couple of months of a workout regimen suck the most, I think, and having someone there to whom I was paying even more money made for a compelling reason not to flake out. Also, the trainer was very, very good in terms of getting me into a good regimen and really excelled at making me push my limits. Once the two months was over, I found it very easy to continue my workouts.

    Plus, she was really, really cute.