Bring On the Pain #4: Undercover —
The aforementioned project for digital distribution of BBS Documentary is not dormant or dead; I’ve sent out a bunch of packages. The reason I’m holding back from going “I’m going to mail to this place and that place” on this weblog is mostly because I say the most awful things about everyone at long stretches and I don’t need some skimpy-brained digital distribution maven deciding not to take my product based on some arbitrary measure, like this guy thinks we’re all a bunch of fucksticks.
Now, granted, I generally do think that they’re all a bunch of fucksticks, but that shouldn’t be the deciding factor in whether or not a place accepts my product as a possible addition to their digital ranks. I’ve already stated on here that I’m generally fine with a place doing a few limited things to my film to bring it online, with some marked exceptions like embedding advertisements that make it look like I’m endorsing the highest bidder who decided to spread their peanut butter across my documentary’s face. These limited things I do allow are stuff like DRM (as long as they don’t expect exclusive access to my stuff, i.e. people can get the movie elsewhere) and taking some major piece of the pie (as long as the price is generally fair or doesn’t imply I’m getting the bulk).
The vibe I get from a lot of distribution firms is that they think of “content producers” as a gelatinous mass of yammering whinebags, all thinking their little predictable flick is the absolute be-all-end-all and demanding a dozen black helicopters for the privilege of sinking cash into promoting their little bang-bang love story. Most of these places are, naturally, getting bombarded with horseshit. A constant, endless din of absolute horseshit, as people send them mind-numbing projects filled with stolen content and half-baked scripting. And because of that, a lot of the things I’ve had to sign and pages I’ve had to click through are designed to basically ask one fundamental question: Are You a Deluded Retard? (Y/N)
I’ve generally done N, although in some cases I’ve had to say Y and not deal with them because that entity’s idea of “Retard” is “Actually wants to maintain ownership” or “Isn’t all that hot on being given a couple tuppence for each copy, while we open our bags and get piles of gold coins”.
I think my favorite one was one digital distribution site that said We are not in the business of funding your movies. I consider the back-and-forth conversations that must have led to that codicil.
I maintain my promise to you that as each digital distribution adventure comes to a close, I will summarize here, including process of sending out stuff, what I was told to do, and what came of it. But for the moment, I just have to continue sending things out and assure you that Agent Jason is working deep undercover for your amusement.
Categorised as: documentary
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