ASCII by Jason Scott

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Greetings, Internet Warrior: The One-Word Strike —

As leaves fall from a tree in Autumn, so fall the many possible lessons we may teach each other this day, Internet Warrior. Let us grab one leaf, and regard it, concentrating on the colors it seeks to provide us instead of the myriad others we could spend our existence chasing, for naught.

Today we shall use the popularity of the internet forum against itself, to our own glory. We shall sit and attend to The One-Word Strike.

Where once the postings of a forum were few, precious, and standing as glittering stones in a desert, now our most popular forums know nary a passing second or moment before a new message falls to earth. A blink of a man gazing into the sun is all the time needed to yield a torrent of words from all lands.

Quickly, hence, come the messages, some of poor quality and some of the highest craftsmanship. Yes, your enemies are subtle and many, and therefore any gambit you attend to must claim the shortest of preparations. A one-word message will enable you to contribute without contributing; making the most important part of your message known to the others: your username. You are a part of the groundswell while spending the least amount of time on being so. Your name will reign in the heaven of early posts instead of the underworld of me-toos.

Let us prepare our litany of one-word posts, Warrior. Repeat after me.

Brilliant!!

First!

Pass.

Cool!

Nah.

And finally, our most effective strike of all:

.(A single period, as to indicate an agreement)

Yes, Internet Warrior, you catch on quickly; in this momentary passage of effort, barely the cost of a breath, you have taken the conversation by the neck and made it your own. The warriors who follow you are lessers, contributing whatever may come, but who only serve as a cacaphony of geese honking deliriously after stumbling past your zen-like attendance.

As such, we see we win with barely a move.

Well done, Internet Warrior. Please help yourself to a second can of cola.


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5 Comments

  1. Fred Blasdel says:

    fake.

  2. Rick Almeida says:

    Indeed.